She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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