My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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