Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize