I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
smell my finger.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
