Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize