Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I love you.
Bad choice
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize