When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She bit a glass in half.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
