Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
