It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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