We're like a lot better than the average bears
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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