I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
NoShamevember. You game?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
