I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I want a musical about memes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
