Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
