If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
