You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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