You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
