the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
