THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
