His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
