Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
