i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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