Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
