you mean i was at the winter classic?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
