Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
