everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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