u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize