mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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