I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
