i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
