He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
