we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
