Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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