I wish i was in the wii world.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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