bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
