Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
