I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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