You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
