I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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