True but thats because hes a fetus.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
