I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
