Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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