I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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