He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
