And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
