she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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