I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
