What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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