She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no you cant smoke seaweed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Blood and glitter go together right?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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