He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
