so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
