bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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