and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
