i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
