Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
