honey bunches of taint.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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