you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So vagazzling was a success
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize