We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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