Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
